Another Day

Well, it's Saturday.  The rain we'd been waiting for arrived today!  Maybe not as much as we needed, but it brought along a nice breeze and cooler temperatures, and we have rain chances the next few days.  For those of us "roughing it" without a/c, that's a very good thing.

I'm good a couple weeks with the kids, by week three and four I start feeling it, anything past that is just...  Survival mode.  I can do what must be done and I live in a perpetual state of tired.  That's where I am right now.  Five weeks tomorrow.  Maybe they can go to their dad's soon.  I don't know what else I can share right now.  There's not a lot left in me.  I look forward to co-op starting again.  I miss the people.

Off to enjoy a snack, yogurt/trailmix & orange juice, with a movie, Bed of Roses.

From a sleepy Ozark hilltop, Good Night!

My Day, A Gift

By the time I reach the end of my day, I'm too tired to do anything else.

But I had a good day with my kids today. 

We waited for rain that never came.  Painted.  Found sock puppets.  Repaired sock puppets.  Rounded up more socks to make more sock puppets.  Played in the water.  Played maze (or something) through the round haybales by the garden.  Required more time in the water :)  Shared a nice supper together.  Baths.  Storytime.  Hugs, kisses, prayers. Goodnight.

And a thousand other little moments in between that encourage me, keep me going.  Yep, I'm headed in the right direction.  And yes, what I do is important.  I am glad to be here with my kids.  Even if I have nothing left to give to anyone else at the end of the day.  Yes to being...  Alone.  Single.  Unmarried.  Three children.  Homeschooling.  A Child of God. 

Yes to Being.

Who Would You Give Your "Yes" To?

What I mean by this is, Who would you be willing to give your authority to?  Who would you be willing to receive "orders', as it may be, from?  In choosing a mate, we choose, whether we realize it or not, to give that person authority in our life.  I've been head of my home four years, and before that married to a truck driver.  So I did pretty much whatever I wanted.  Except when he was home.  A respected friend said something to me that got me thinking:  "You'd have to give up a lot to get married again."  I like not having someone to answer to.  Or to ask before I do something.  I like being in charge.  I like not having someone to fight with.  I so don't want to fight.  But I get tired of my self for company.  Of being the only one when something goes wrong.  Or being the only one when something goes right.  I long for a "grown-up" intimacy.  I am a gift.  But I will not give my self to just any one.  I will not settle.  Because I am worth it. 

I Walk the Lonely Places

Lonely places I have been:  Alone with 2 small children while my husband drove over the road.  Homeschooling two children while expecting a third.  I have held on while everything fell apart, and my husband left when the baby was 4 months old.  I have raised three kids by myself.  I held on when my son was angry and my daughter was sad.  I held on when the baby needed... everything.  I have done teething, potty training, puberty, alone.  I have seen God replace washer, dryer, hot water heater, refrigerator, and keep the jeep running.  I have sat with two children while one had eye surgery.  I have cleaned the house, prepared the meals, and paid the bills.  All by myself.  Because if I didn't do it, it didn't get done.  And I have learned:  I can do this.  God is Good.

I have walked the lonely places, and I have found my strength.

Change Is

I feel like it's a slow and steady plodding along with my Heavenly Father, knowing I'm headed in the right direction.

Some changes may be in store for us, but as seasons gradually fade into each other, there is no way of marking beginnings and endings.  Change just is.

Redneck Fishin'

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Arkansas recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.


The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?' 'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish.'


'Pet fish?'


'Yeah.. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home.'


'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'


The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'


'O. K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'


The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'


'Well, what?,' says the redneck.


The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'


'Call who back?'


'The FISH,' replied the warden!


'What fish?,' replied the redneck. ............


Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.


You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North.

A Little Catching Up

I realize my last post left a lot unsaid.  But, hey, it's been a busy month.  Month?!  OMG, how it has gone by!  We've really enjoyed the journey, though.  Been able to plant seeds, flowers, tomatoes.  "It's good growing weather."  Yep.  Good for growing kids, too.  :)  They've been able to see their dad, attend our homeschool co-op, and generally enjoy the change of seasons.  It's been so good to get outside!

To expound on the previous post, my uncle (Dad's brother, who is number 7 of 8 Ozarks Originals that my grandparents "grew") has remained at home all these years.  Even after the "moving on" of Grandma & Grandpa, he's just never left.  The way I heard it, he'd been out doing chores Easter morning when he heard something, looked back toward the house, and saw smoke.  Fortunately he had his cel on him, called my brother-in-law (who is on volunteer fire department but mostly because that was the first number that came up) his wife gets me to keep their three kids so they can go, I send my oldest next door to tell my dad, "There's a fire at Randy's!"  This was around 10 a.m.

Everyone hits the road.  Except me.  I'm here.  With six children.  11.  9.  5.  4.  2.  3 months.  Not years.  Months.  And I hold him the whole time.  And pray.  And watch people come and go.  Smell smoke.  See smoke.  Pray.  And by the end of the day, the house is gone.  And why is losing a thing like losing them all over again?  Because now we can't even go back to their house.  Where, at least my sister and I, spent so much time. 

Here is where you may see what we saw that day, if you'd like.  Dad and bro-in-law are in some of them; Dad burned his hand, other uncles are busy inside.  I live, obviously if you've been here before, on the top of the hill.  My grandparents' place is down the road, around the corner, down again, in the holler.  Closer if you short-cut through the fields.  Just down.  So as the smoke rose, we could see it not just over the roof of my parents' place, who are on the other side of this hill, but drifting across the holler. 

Unfortunately, I was unable to snap pics with babe-in-arms.  We all went through the myriad of emotions that day, and those that followed.  But we've all come to conclude, this is a good thing.  Time to move on.  Romans 8:28 "All things work together for good to those who love God."  What if the flip works too?  All things work together for good to those whom God loves?  John 3:16.  I John 5.  My uncle may not love God now, but he might some day realize love has been there all along.  Religion has been hurtful to many in my family.  But God is good.  It's the goodness of God that brings repentance. Romans 2:4.

On a lighter note, we welcomed kittens this week!  Four of 'em.  And we get to go camping this weekend.

Oh, I forgot to tell you about the fishing trip!  Well, let me catch you up...  April 6 Missouri Department of Conservation provided a fishing clinic for the kids of our co-op.  They are big on 'catch and release,' which is a good  thing to learn.  We bait, cast, reel 'em in (which is the most fun!), remove the hook, then send them back again.  Each group, one morning and one afternoon, had two hours allotted for this.  It was really nice.  Also there are trails to walk, and a welcome center with displays and gift shop.  I actually learned a lot this time:  replacing fishhooks.  At least 3.  And I touched a fish, to release it All By Myself!  I won't tell you how we did it when we were kids fishing in Dad's pond!  I'm sure someone would frown  :( 

The water was muddy; it had recently rained.  We were the first to fish this season.  Everyone caught something!  Either sun fish (which to me looks like perch), or channel catfish.  My son caught one of each!  He was really proud.  There's a picture somewhere, I'll have to find it.  Er-bear says she caught 5, and little sister had her first fish ever!  Way to go kiddos!